By, Heather Blanchard
So often throughout the day we are juggling many roles – from being a parent to a child of parents, a parter to a friend, a colleague to a housekeeper. It seems we’re always trying to figure out how to do it all and do it well and please everyone, and it’s a constant balancing act. But we can find more balance by making better, more clear and more sound decisions. By pausing to decide what’s important now and in the future, and just slow down.
“You need to do less sooner, you’re always doing too much late.” ~ Ray Hunt
Last weekend I was packing as we move into our new home this weekend, and my mind was floating from my grocery list, to what to make for dinner, etc. rather than the task at hand, (yes, yoga teachers have wandering minds too!) when I came across an old magazine article called “The Rule Of 10-10-10” in O Magazine. I paused to read it as the title was catchy and I knew it would offer sage advice. And here it is…anytime you’re in a situation with a decision or solution that may not make everyone happy, ask yourself three questions:
What are the consequences of my decision in 10 minutes? In 10 months? Or 10 Years?
Now this may seem like a silly question when it comes to small daily decisions rather than huge, life-changing ones, but it really isn’t according to the author Suzy Welch. Here are two examples of many, many times she used this rule to take pause and make the best, most sound decisions not only for herself but for others as well.
Several years ago when Suzy was asked by her boss to work late her heartstrings were pulled as she’d promised both her kids and her babysitter that she would be home early from work to make dinner, do homework and watch their favorite show. When she called to tell them she had to work late, the kids began to meltdown and the babysitter was obviously disappointed to have to cancel her plans. But she was up for a huge promotion at work and didn’t want to miss her chances of receiving it. So she used the Rule of 10-10-10 and decided that in 10 minutes her kids would work through their meltdown and begin to calm down, in 10 months she would over-deliver on time and love at home to make up for it and in 10 years the fact that she stayed to work late on this particular night, as long as it didn’t become a habit, would be irrelevant. So she stayed and later got the promotion.
A few moths later Suzy was faced with a similar decision as she was asked to lead a meeting for big company execs on the Saturday her son would be competing for his junior black belt. This was an accomplishment four years in the making, and super important to him and her family. This time the Rule of 10-10-10 came easily into play as the stakes were much higher. She knew that if she declined the meeting in 10 minutes her boss would be disappointed but could find someone else to take her place. In 10 months she could more than make up for it with stellar performance at work, but in 10 years if she missed her son’s big moment he would always remember she chose work over his tournament and that hurt could last forever. So she went to the karate meet and proudly watched her son earn his belt.
The Rule of 10-10-10 can be applied to huge decisions like whether to leave a job or make a move across the country, and small ones like whether to go to an event later that week. And the beauty of it is it allows us to pause and make clear, sound decisions in order to focus on what’s right and find a little more peace and equanimity.
“Getting in balance is not so much about adopting new strategies to change your behaviors as it is about realigning yourself in all of your thoughts so as to create a balance between what you desire and how you conduct your life on a daily basis. ~ Wayne Dyer
XOXO, HeatherL
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