The Friendship Bench

By: Heather Blanchard

20 years ago, a psychiatrist in Zimbabwe had a brilliant idea after losing a patient that couldn’t afford access to help. That moment changed his life, (Dr. Dixon Chibanda) so he decided to find a way to bridge the gap in mental healthcare. At the time, there were only 10 psychiatrists serving 13 million people in Zimbabwe. So Chibanda came up with an idea involving grandmothers to assist in the care of others. In a recent interview on CBS Sunday Morning he said…”These grandmas were actually the custodians of the local culture and the wisdom, and they were rooted in their communities. And I was like, what if we could train them to be the first port of call for anyone needing to talk in a community?” Sometimes, all we need is someone to listen, and give us the tools to help ourselves.

It’s been a few weeks since I learned about this project, but now everywhere I go I notice benches ~ in parks, around the lake we live on, and all around us just outside the studio in our pavilion. Now I see benches not only as a place to sit, but also an opportunity to connect with others and receive the connection we all need and crave.

“Some souls just understand each other upon meeting.” – N.R. Hart

In 2006, Chibanda introduced the “Friendship Bench,” a talk therapy program that brings mental healthcare directly into underserved communities. The program is free, and benches were placed outside all over his community. The grandmothers recruited were happy to donate their time, and the success of this program quickly throughout his country. In fact, it is now in 9 other countries across the world and even over here to the US. “The Friendship Bench is actually rooted in a lot of research,” he said. “These grandmas were a lot more effective than trained mental health professionals at alleviating symptoms of both depression and generalized anxiety disorders.”

So, what’s the special sauce when it comes to grandparents? According to Chibanda, it is “the natural abilities that come with having a long-lived life on the planet. They’ve seen a lot. They’ve experienced a lot. They have, you know, the battle scars of life, which they bring to the bench. All we’re doing as Friendship Bench is helping them to use those stories, those experiences, to help others.” And the bench is giving them something back too. They fill powerful and purposeful in their post-retirement life, and helping others is uplifting and fulfilling.

It’s truly the act of what we call Seva in yoga – Selfless Service. And it’s a beautiful reflection of the term Satsung – Sat meaning true and Sangha meaning community. These benches are part of the community, bringing strangers together and making everyone stronger. Which brings us to the Buddy Bench. Buddy benches are appearing in schoolyards around the globe. The Buddy Bench is a place for anyone who’s feeling lonely or in need of a friend to go and sit – a signal that encourages empathy and kindness from other children if they’re looking for someone to talk to or play with. This little bench forges new friendships and creates an inclusive environment for all. And it’s the perfect reminder that even the smallest gestures can make a huge impact in someone’s life – and sometimes an everlasting one.

“You don’t need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely.” – Unknown

XOXO, Heather